Friday, December 30, 2011

Another One Bites The Dust...

Yep, you guessed it. Katy Perry and whathisname Russell Brand are divorcing.  Sad. :(

TMZ's got it locked down. Check it out.

Don't Like Obama? Let's Check Out The Other Choices...

I wonder who all the anti-Obama folks are going to vote for? I've been looking at some of the candidates online, and I must say... I'm not that impressed.
Michele Bachmann - If she becomes President, I think she needs to tell us all her beauty secrets! She's 55, and looks about 40. Yay, Mary Kay... errr, I mean, Michele! On a more serious note, Michele Bachmann is a conservative. 'Nuff said as far as I'm concerned. Though it'd be great to have a woman president (I prefer Hilary!!), I don't think this is the woman to get the job done.

Jon Huntsman - This guy is called the "dangerous dark horse" of the race, and is said to be capable of beating Obama in an election. This high school drop out is no slacker, and is actually a personal friend of Obama's, but he's very evasive. I don't like evasive, and I don't think the anti-Obama folks do, either. Plus, who wants a friend of Obama to win if Obama is the anti-Christ and shit? Jon Huntsman is a former mormon missionary, scion of a billion dollar chemical empire, and a former Governor of Utah and Ambassador to China. Not sure if you are connecting the dots like I am, but I'm not interested in a foreign Ambassador, connected to a billion dollar chemical empire, running the United States. He also looks like he has a scandal just waiting to come tumbling out of his closet, if ya know what I mean.

Gary Johnson - Hmm, now Gary Johnson is a guy I could see voting for. Though I don't see the anti-Obama folks jumping on board: The former Libertarian Republican Governor does not attend church, is pro-choice, anti-big government, pro-immigration, an outspoken critic of the war on drugs and favors legalizing marijuana. Peace, love, and anarchy, dude.

Andy Martin - He says he's going to play rough against Obama. Really? Hmm. Ya don't say... Martin is famously remembered as the source of the chain mail and online reports questioning the citizenship of President Obama and the claim that he was a Muslim. Now that's a guy the anti-O's can support... *eye roll*.

Jimmy McMillan - Seriously, McMillan needs to be in an action movie or somethin', just look at him. And he's a karate expert... what?! Yeah, this former-Democrat is now running as a Republican candidate. Can you say wishy washy? Kung Fu that, McMillan.

Ron Paul - If his age doesn't scare you away (he's 75), the fact that he is one of the most controversial candidates on the 2012 trail may. Ron Paul has been shunned by mainstream media because of his dogmatic libertarian views. Ron Paul is a constitutionalist who believes in small government. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. At his age, I'd definitely want to take a closer look at his vice-president pick.

Randall Terry - If this guy doesn't look like a straight up douche bag, I don't know who does. This anti-abortionist anti-LGBT radical is spending close to $3 million for a 30-second ad in the 2012 Super Bowl. This former used car salesman is one of the most well-known pro-life activists in the country. The idiot presidential candidate says “This campaign is about human rights, ladies and gentlemen. It will be first and foremost about the human rights of babies that are being brutally slaughtered and thrown in dumpsters and landfills. But it is also about the human rights of the slave labor force on Obama's plantation.” Human rights, unless you're gay, right?? Where do these guys come from? Geez.

Mitt Romney - Last but not least, we have the very wishy-washy Republican candidate Mitt Romney. This liberal, turned conservative..uh turned moderate.. former venture capitalist is supposed to be waltzing his way through the primaries soon. I don't care if you call yourself a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or something else... I think we can all agree that this guy seems like a people-pleaser. He was liberal, but that was too difficult - being a Republican and all. So he turned conservative, but that didn't work out so well for him.. so he turned moderate... middle of the road, easy street. Hmm. No back bone in sight. Get outta here!

So there ya have it, folks. Some of the "favorites" that are supposed to beat Obama in 2012. I would love nothing more than to see a Libertarian win an election, but we all know that's not happening in 2012. So until someone better comes out of the woodwork, Obama it is for me...

**Disclaimer: I'm not going to pretend to be uber educated on these topics, this is just me rambling about the presidential candidates as I see them. No need to get butt hurt but feel free to leave comments agreeing or disagreeing, as I love a good debate!**

Monday, December 19, 2011

Bon Jovi

According to a fake ass press release being spread on Twitter, the hottie.. err rock star.. was found “in a coma” at a hotel in New Jersey and taken to a hospital, where he supposedly “suffered cardiac arrest.”

Bon Jovi is NOT dead.

He even did a salute to prove it. Geez, poor guy!

Lookin' hot in his old age!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Another One Bites The Dust...

I'd like to count the number of times an anti-gay politician got dragged out of the closet, but there simply is not enough time in the day.

Anti-gay "Family Values" Republican Mayor, Greg Davis, slipped out of the closet this week. Obviously not by his own doing, because he was too busy shopping at gay sex stores in Canada (on our dime, by the way) to notice his dirty laundry being aired. When he did finally notice, this is the statement he released:

“At this point in my life and in my career, while I have tried to maintain separation between my personal and public life, it is obvious that this can no longer remain the case,” Davis said Thursday afternoon at his Southaven home. “While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual — and still continue to be a very conservative individual — I think that it is important that I discuss the struggles I have had over the last few years when I came to the realization that I am gay.”

Oh really? Did you discover you were gay before or after you spent $170,000 of taxpayer's money on personal things, like your trip to the adult store in Canada that caters to gay men? Is that the trip that helped you discover your sexuality? Doubtful.

On a side note, it was a $67 expense at this adult store. Mayor Davis, you have to be reeealllly stupid to use taxpayer's money at a sex shop. What the hell were you thinking?

Not only is he a hypocritical liar, he's a thief. And these are the men we have running this country because we are too afraid of... what exactly? Afraid that a homo may be the president? You think he'd change the flag to a rainbow flag or something? Why is this country so damn scared to be more liberal, more accepting, more tolerant?

Until we figure that out, America, we will never truly be #1.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Only in Wal-Mart

Only in Wal-Mart can you buy all the ingredients needed to cook meth, and actually do so for six hours without being noticed.

What!? Yep, you read that right. Elizabeth Greta, 45, entered Wal-Mart in Tulsa, Oklahoma around noon and grabbed all the ingredients needed to make meth and set up shop. Six hours later, on-site security officers finally noticed her suspicious behavior and called the police.

"She didn't have the money to make the purchases of the chemicals that were needed so she was taking what was needed in the bottle," said Officer David Shelby, who arrived on the scene, to FOX 23 News. "When firefighters were on the scene she made statements to them that is what she was doing, she was attempting to obtain these chemicals and was in the process of trying to manufacture meth. However, she said she was not very good at it."

I am trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, because it was dangerous and could have been deadly, but really??

Meth really is a serious epidemic in our country, and it must be hooking them pretty badly if they're going to be trying to cook it in fucking Wal-Mart.

*The image above is not of the woman in this story.

Is Katie Perry Pregnant?

Katie Perry isn't getting fat or anything, but that belly looks a bit formed... what do you think?

To Be Expected

Ali Lohan, scarily skinny.

Logical Fears

I've never trusted elevators (escalators, either, really). I don't like them at all. I'd rather walk up ten flights of stairs than get on an elevator. However, with kids in tow that is a huge pain in the ass. Plus, everyone is always like "Oh nothing ever goes wrong in elevators". Yeah, well guess what? Now there's justification to my elevator phobia.

When Suzanne Hart stepped into an elevator — it suddenly shot up. Hart was dragged up the shaft and became wedged between the elevator and the wall. “One of my guards was behind the lady,” he said. “As soon as the lady stepped in, the door did not close. So the elevator went up and smashed the body."

Such a tragic, sudden ending to a beautiful life. I know it was a freak accident, but this is the kind of things an elevator-phobic (is there a word for that?) has nightmares about! And her poor family. I can't even imagine.

I guess I'm going to start hopping over the threshold and hoping I survive. Can you imagine the looks I'll get?

Oh, and this isn't an isolated incident by any means. The most recent I recall is when Ohio State paid a $1 million settlement to a student's family for a similar death.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Aw, Poor "Other Woman"

Aw!! Look at that face. Poor "other woman"! Her family, friends, and co-workers don't want anything to do with her. I wonder why. 22 year old Sara Leal says her family refuses to speak to her, and she got fired from her job after the media frenzy that resulted from her telling the world she had unprotected sex with Ashton Kutcher on his 6th anniversary. Now who in their right mind even admits that kind of thing? She obviously knew that he was married, but she had unprotected sex with him? Is there a word besides "homewrecker" that comes to mind here, because I'm drawing a blank. I think everyone who knowingly has sex with a man that is married to someone else should have to wear a scarlet letter and be cut off from her friends and family. That'll teach 'em...

If you're gonna be a homophobe,

...don't feature gay composers* in your anti-gay commercials.

Wait, what??

Oh yeah, that's right. Idiotic presidential candidate Rick Perry's anti-gay campaign ad features Aaron Copland's music. You don't know who Aaron Copland is? Ha. Me, neither. But he was a gay Jew!


The Presidential hopeful says: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school."

While gay music is playing in the background. Well, not gay music, but... you know what I mean.

Copland also openly supported the Communist Party in the 1930s.

Insert foot in mouth.

Is this who we want running our country? I think not!!

*The music is actually a cheap knock-off of Copland's.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hottest Woman of All Time

Jennifer Aniston was just named the hottest woman alive. Not the hottest woman of the 90s, or 2011, or the hottest woman from a TV show - the hottest. Woman. Alive. Congrats, Jennifer!!

I bet it is killing homewrecker Angelina (listed at #10) to see that she beat her!

Though Jennifer is beautiful, isn't quite curvy enough for me. Most Hollywood stars aren't, though. When I think of the hottest woman alive, I think of women like Marilyn Monroe or Jennifer Lopez.

 I am also absolutely in love with Ellen, Angie Harmon, and Leisha Hailey. These women are funny, intelligent, and absolutely breath taking.

 Looks aren't everything, but who is your "hottest woman of all time"??

Lindsay Lohan does... Playboy?

Lots of things come to mind when I think of Lindsay Lohan: cokehead, has-been, worn out, overplayed, jail bird - but a Playboy model isn't one of them. And getting paid $1 million for it? Psh.

Did Hugh Hefner really just tweet this?

For those of you that can't read the small print - or maybe you just can't believe what you're reading because it's so ridiculous - it says "The Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy is going to be a true Collector's Edition".

Say what?

What. The. Hell? Collector's Edition? Yeah, maybe if you like the worn out crackhead look. Sorry, Lindsay (and Hef), this is one issue I'm skipping.

If you're just dying to see Lohan bare it all, be sure to check out the December 15th Playboy issue. It's sure to be a real gem!

If I was cheating on my boyfriend...

I would not let him tattoo Narnia on my back, or it might turn out like this:

In addition to being unfaithful, this woman was dumb. Very dumb. She signed a waiver when she got her tattoo, so the lawsuit she has brought against her (now ex) boyfriend probably won't get her much money. He knew she was cheating, but she didn't know he knew. Whoops.


Friday, December 9, 2011

Woman Buried Alive, Escapes with Ring

You can read the story here, or watch a video here, but I'm gonna give you the run-down right here. ;)

Apparently the fiance of a UK woman got "bored" with her and wanted to start a new life. So he did what every decent man would do, and he called off the wedding and his friend buried her alive, after tasering her. What the hell? They taped her feet together and stuffed her in a cardboard box, carried her down the stairs (this happened inside their home), and put her in the trunk of the car. Then they drove to the top of a hill and Buried. Her. Alive. His defense? He was "trying to scare her". Yeah, I think you got it covered there, buddy.

The woman cut the tape on the box with her engagement ring. How's that for biting you in the ass? If you are going to bury someone alive, make sure they can't dig their way out with the engagement ring you gave them. After she got out, she ran to the road and flagged a car down to, according to the story, drive her home. I don't know about you, but the last place I'd be going is home after my psychotic fiance tried to kill me.

Have you ever been engaged to someone you didn't want to marry? Did you call the wedding off? Or did you try to bury them alive?